Not just your ordinary Wednesday

Maybe I’m stupid.  Or naive.  It’s gotta be something like that, because for the life of me, I can’t seem to understand Wade sometimes.  I know a lot of it is the Mars / Venus thing and a lot of it is that we came from very different backgrounds.  However, after 5 years, you’d think that we’d have some indication that we were heading to a similar outcome when it comes to one particular issue.

Situation:  I / He will be late.

This is how I handle it:  I take out my cell phone and I call or text “I’m running late. Be home soon.”  If “soon” is wrong, I leave more detail.  Basically, I stay in touch.

This is how W handles it: 

No, I didn’t forget to write something.  I does nothing. 

In the morning we share our schedules – regular work day, working late, plans after work, etc… I don’t have any issue with him going out and doing his thing, but I want to know a.) approximately when he’s coming home and b.) am I making dinner for 1 or 2 or none.  I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

Yesterday…PRIME example. 

In the morning he said he’d be late because he had to move the boat.  Fine.  Good.  Have fun with that.  My response: “Give me a call later and let me know if I should make dinner.”

7:45 PM – I send text message: I was gonna make hot dogs.  We don’t have hot dogs.  Can you pick up some or let me know if you’ll be too much later and I’ll have something else.

9:15 PM – Break down and eat a ham sandwich.

10:30 PM – Water dogs and start the hike to bed routine.

11:01 PM – Give W’s cell a call.  Voicemail.

11:17 PM – Throw in the towel on reading.  Can’t keep eyes open.

12:41 AM – Wake up to find I’m still alone.  Call cell.  Voicemail.

12:44 AM – Call again.  Voicemail.

1:05 AM – Call again. Voicemail.

1:29 AM – Get out of bed and get dressed in real clothes.  Grab car keys.

1:30 AM – Last ditch attempt at a call before I get in the car.  Voicemail.

2:03 AM – Arrive in location of where he should be.  Shine high beams out over river.  Get out of car to look.  Have run in with skunk.  Nothing comes of run in. Phew.

2:07 AM – Drive a tiny bit further.  Spot his truck.  Park next to truck and shine high beams over river again.  Nothing.

2:10 AM – Leave note on the back of a bank deposit envelope:  2:10 AM I WAS HERE.  GONE TO LOOK AT MARINA.  CALL ME. -E

2:11 AM – Stick note under windshield and have tiny chuckle at the fact that this will cause minor panic as he suspects it’s a parking ticket. (ha!)

2:14 AM – 2:29 AM – Search marina.  More skunks somewhere.  Get away from marina ASAP.

2:35 AM – Go back to truck.

2:36 AM – Spot smaller tow boat with husband in it.  Shine high beams at boat and stand in front of them so he can’t tell who I am.  Inflict some panic until he realizes it’s me. 

Sheepish guilty look ensues.

Somehow this becomes all my fault and I’m accused of worrying too much and not giving him the “benefit of the doubt.”

He told me he left his phone at work.  Good place for it. 

2:49 AM – Tell him I’m going home.

3:27 AM – Back in bed.  Mabel is yelling at me for leaving.  I settle her and we go to bed.

4:30 AM – He comes home. 

I don’t know what the issue with the boat was.  I don’t know why what seems like a simple task turns into a nightmare.  I don’t understand a lot.  But I understand that I’m a worrier and you’d think he’d realize that by now.  I’ve even tried to do this to him to see if he “gets” it.  He doesn’t.  I’m at a loss.   I just fear that the one time I suck it up and realize that this is just him, that will be the time that something has gone wrong.  Right?

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~ by zuzu on July 17, 2008.

10 Responses to “Not just your ordinary Wednesday”

  1. Golly. I have NO suggestions. I once called the Coast Guard just to ask them that IF I was indeed worried abt my husband not coming home from fishing, how long did I need to have him gone and if they were the right people to call.

    I did get an “I’m sorry” but time is never the same as my time when he’s fishing…

  2. Wow. I don’t think I’d be alive to deliver a “sheepish guilty look” after all that. You’re very patient!!

  3. Oh I would be so mad if E did that to me. I’m like you – I don’t care if he goes out or whatever, but just let. me. know. I am the kind of person who thinks the worst when someone doesn’t show up when they’re supposed to.

  4. Wow. This is neat. I never did this before. But I can’t believe that F… FREAKING happened to you!!! (Would it have been bad etiquette to just say what I wanted to say? Please advise.) I’m mad at W because that is JUST WRONG. Honestly, I am relieve to know he’s not TOTALLY perfect 🙂

  5. 4:30AM???? I don’t think I could even stay awake that long …

  6. The only thing worse then the wave of panic and ensues when you are waiting, waiting, waiting and worrying, worrying, worrying for someone, is the rush of anger that you feel when you find out they are fine, albeit inconsiderate. I am sorry you had such a tough night.

  7. I do this ALL THE TIME. Except, of course, I can’t go find him which makes me think he’s either a) lying dead in a ditch or b) being held at gunpoint or c)something much worse if there is such a thing. Of course, usually he just left his phone in his truck.

    I think it’s in our nature to worry but jeesh, he could have at least called!

  8. Hey!

    He’s being disrespectful. A pay phone should have been around.

    A collect call to you.

    I dont know the particulars, but, something like that, doesnt really fly in my book.

    Have him be a guest blogger and explain why him not calling was a good thing.

  9. i…i …don’t know what to say. i think my head would have popped off around 1:30 a.m.

  10. If I didn’t know Wade, I’d want to kill him. but I know him…and I can totally see this happening. Not that that makes it right. I’m just saying. But he’s got to learn to respect it a little better. Fight about it later…just be courteous with the time thing.

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