Why would my mind go there???

Yesterday I was in the parking lot at the grocery store.  A great spot was right in front of me.  I waited patiently as an over-sized woman and her three children made their way through the lot – two kids walking, one holding mom’s hand, the other pushing the infant who is teetering on the carriage in the carrier.  They are walking at a snail’s pace, but I’m fine with that.  It’s Sunday.  I’m in no hurry.  They can take their merry little time.

But then out of nowhere, just as my access to the spot has become available (mind you, I am sitting there with my blinker on!), a car comes from the other direction, nearly running over the family and me and swoops right into the spot.

Suddenly my nice Sunday went all to poo. 

I honked my horn.  Nothing says ire like a car horn!

The passenger, queen of the giant trolls (sorry, but she was) looks at me and gives me a “look.”  I decided that my best option was to remain parked immediately behind the car and perpendicular.  Clearly, this is the way to go.  The queen and her beast – scary, I tell you! – got out of the car.  At this point an even better spot opens and the beast pauses while loping to the store to indicate that I should park there. 

No!  I will not park in that spot that is better than your spot!  I want your spot!  NO, MY spot!  Move your car! I was here first! 

In my head I was having this rant and kicking and waving my fists in a furious manner.  In reality, I was just giving him a look of “what is wrong with you?” with a dash of disdain.

Upon deciding to move to the other side of the store to park, I had a frightening.  I was completely convinced that the following episode would occur:

I’d enter the store on the opposite side and the queen & beast would be there.  The would have suddenly acquired the ability to have great speed and would have crossed the grocery store to meet me near the bakery.  At which point they would get very angry with me and they would cause a scene in the frozen food aisle! ‘Didn’t you see our handicap tag? That means we can cut you off and steal your spot! How dare you honk your horn! Don’t you have respect for your elders & other species?’  At this point, terrified, I would back slowly out of the store, run to my car and lock the doors.  I would have to wait in the parking lot until I was confident they had left and they wouldn’t follow me home.

Under most circumstances, one would realize that is crazy.

If that realization is not found, then one may choose to not go to that store, rather travel a mile further and go to another one (or just throw in the grocery shopping towel all together). 

But no.  I fell into a different category.

I decided to brave this confrontation because I was going to be unrecognizable.  You know how?  When the queen and the beast saw me, I had a ponytail and sunglasses on.  So I pulled a Clark Kent – I took my ponytail down and used my sunglasses to hold my hair back.  They’d never know it was me.

Tall (although I was sitting…), redhead, wearing a bright blue shirt.  Oh, but wait, she had a ponytail…it couldn’t possibly be her.

Dodged that bullet, no?


~ by zuzu on August 11, 2008.

3 Responses to “Why would my mind go there???”

  1. Brilliant disguise! I bet if those two hadn’t noticed the family of four in their car’s way, they probably didn’t recognize you either. Sheesh, some people!

  2. ah, yes – that spicy dash of disdain! You fooled them I’m sure. Of course, since they weren’t thinking at the beginning of this event – they probably forgot all about it anyway! It is amusing how creative the mind can be.

  3. Hey, like you said, it works for Clark Kent, and he doesn’t even change his hair. All he does is take off his spectacles.

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