Discouragement laughed in my face

This morning marked my sixth physical therapy appointment.  My sessions have been two-fold:  partially for strengthening my back muscles and partially for working on getting the feeling back in my leg/foot.  Since the surgery, but back has been fine.  After doing a little too much I might have a backache, but I have experienced zero pain, and for that, I am most grateful. 

The feeling in my right foot/leg has still not returned and despite being told numerous times this will take months, I woke up today feeling discouraged.  On Tuesday I had a little pain in my toes; good pain; the kind of pain that says, “hey! You can feel stuff again!”  I took that as a sign that full feeling was going to return promptly at that very moment.  Perhaps it would be a Christmas miracle.  No.

When I woke this morning, I didn’t want to go to PT.  Why go if I’m not improving? 

Side note:  I would say that making it this long without much of a complaint on my end is a huge endeavor.  Ask my mom.  Or Wade.  They’d agree.

But I had an appointment, so I was going.  My therapist asked how everything was going and I told her the truth:  Fine, but I’m discouraged.  Today was an evaluation day in order to find out how much more my insurance will pay. 

As it turns out, all my leg muscles are strong – which they were not a few weeks ago.  The only muscle that isn’t working properly is my ankle.  Also, she said that I have nothing to worry about.  If we get to February and still no improvement we may seek another route…but I’ve improved so I have no reason to be discouraged. 

To celebrate my strength, I wore real shoes today.  They’re flats, but they’re not sneakers.  Oh, and the other good news:  She wants me to ween myself off of using my leg brace! 

So discouragement laughed in my face.  I’ll take it.


~ by zuzu on December 29, 2008.

6 Responses to “Discouragement laughed in my face”

  1. Keep going! I’m cheering for you, “C”

  2. keep trying and your reward will be . . . new shoes!

  3. Your body i just taking its time to heal. It will get better…I promise. Hang in there!

  4. Just remember that pesky “P” word……………….patience………It is like being five and it is December 1 and you’re waiting for Christmas to come so you can open packages…………….IT WILL COME……..will just take TIME………..

  5. Congratulations on the excellent report, Elizabeth! You’ve clearly been following your doctor’s orders faithfully. And if you didn’t get a full-blown Christmas miracle, at least you got a Christmas stocking — with toes in it! 😀

    Happy New Year to you and Wade and the furchildren!

  6. Gosh, how pathetic is it for me to say, um, “one step at a time.”? But, you know what I mean. I hope!

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