Check out those legs!
It seems only appropriate that I disappear from the blog world and then pop back up with a new & exciting tale of a weird creature in my home. Right?
The other night, while cooking I see crawling across the floor a house centipede. They are gross. They are big and scary looking and they have no business being in my house. I have only seen one before and that was several years ago. It was crawling near the ceiling then and I recall my reaction to it being FAR more dramatic than it was the other night. I’m pretty sure that there was some sort of exclamatory expletive and then screaming “WHAT IS THAT THING???” and I believe Wade’s reaction was on a similar level. That’s just how creepy they are. But the other night I didn’t react at all really. I just grabbed a glass and put it over the centipede and left it in the middle of the kitchen floor to ultimately die.
The following morning, Wade told me that during the night the centipede got out from underneath the glass but it was dead so it’s ok. I will blame one of the cats for its escape and demise because it only made it about two inches away from the glass. Just in case, however, Wade put the glass back over the dead centipede.
Me: Good thing they aren’t poisonous since the cats were playing with it.
W: They are poisonous.
Me: No they aren’t! Remember we looked it up and they are creepy but harmless?
W: Oh. Well. It’s one of those… poisonous or harmless.
And now this leads to a new segment I shall call: Zuzu’s Lame Comedy Hour!
A man had a magic centipede who lived with him and did all of chores. The man had him cooking and cleaning and they hung out and played card games. It was loads of fun. One day the man asked the centipede to go get his mail. The centipede left and was gone for hours and hours… the man got worried and went to look for him. He opened the front door and the centipede was on the door mat.
Man: What are you doing?? I asked you to get the mail HOURS ago!
Centipede: Hold your horse, Buddy! I have to put on my shoes!