Surreal grocery shopping

For awhile now, many people have shared with me the wonder that is Aldi Food Market.  I haven’t had the pleasure of patronizing the establishment as there hasn’t been one near me.  However, this did not sadden me. Immediately upon hearing of it the first time, I had some unsettling feeling about it.  I immediately began to picture a warehouse that had high shelves where food was just strewn about in any manner.  No rhyme. No reason.  Tuna was with cereal and frozen burritos were next to the cashews.

This, of course, was not how it was described to me, so the previous statements are strictly my imagination running rampant.

It was not immediately brought to my attention that this place sold fresh produce and meat products.  This took my unease to an entirely different level.  I was convinced (again, only in my head) that there were shipments of chicken wings sent in by the truck load and some guy was in the back, haphazardly wrapping up the appendages in plastic wrap… perhaps even a feather or two remained.  It was all entirely unsanitary and I was not having that!

But then something happened.

An Aldi opened just down the road.  And a coupon came for it.

After some serious “gearing up” I made my way to Aldi today. I had some anxiety.  What if my fears of this place were right?  What would I do?  I was very nervous. So nervous that I almost drove a full circle around the building and headed home.  But I bucked up and went in.

First.  You have to put a quarter in to get your cart.  That’s fine.  Except I couldn’t figure out how to do it.  Seems like it should be an easy task, but after about 15 seconds I began to think that there were cameras filming me for Candid Camera.  Eventually I succeeded and off I went.

Through the doors, I was immediately thrown off by the one way route.  I couldn’t turn. I had to go straight and this started off my panic.  How was I supposed to peruse the aisle if I knew people were piling up behind me on this one way route?  I couldn’t peruse, so I just moved.

I was thrown off by this world of food that looked like brand name food until you really looooooked at it.  For example, there is a jar a box of Cheerios…uh…no…Cheerioats.  Hm.

I decided it best to give Aldi a far shot and just go up and down the aisle as quickly as possible, buy some stuff and get the heck out of there.  In my panicked state of mind, I bought some seriously random stuff:

~ nacho cheese flavored tortilla chips (sampled and they are gross)
~ fruity rice crisps cereal (i.e., Fruity Pebbles… a cereal I have NEVER purchase.  Why would I now??)
~ regular rice crisp cereal
~ swiss rolls (little Debbie style…yet called “Bakers Treats”.  Sampled and rather tasty.)
~ marshmallows (at least now I can my rice crispy treats)
~ string cheese
~ filet wrapped in bacon!!  (Why???  Well, it was only $1.99.  That’s why.)

The above came to less than $15 dollars and my coupon was only valid on a purchase of over $30.  I wasn’t going to go back to save $5.  I had to get outta there.

So at the check out, the cashier did the whole scan my items and toss them in the previous customer’s empty cart and sent me on my way.  I was sent on my way to a wall that resembled a very long baby changing table.  It is in this area of the store where you bag your groceries. I sensed that I was going to start talking to myself about how odd this whole experience had been, so I booked it outta there.

Returning my cart was a much less stressful scenario (and not just because I could watch the guy next to me do it).  I got my quarter and I headed home.

It has been determined that a.) I was not ready for this adventure as a solo trip and b.) I’m unlikely to return anytime soon.


~ by zuzu on May 22, 2011.

One Response to “Surreal grocery shopping”

  1. i implore you….please do NOT eat the fillets!

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